old poetry

i am not sure how many poems there are, maybe 100 maybe 200, if you know the title of the poem already i am sure you can search it in the toolbar at the top of my blog, otherwise happy hunting.
Also, I only realized recently that ever since I started taking my medication, I have stopped writing, the last time I wrote a note that felt real was in February 2011, that's aaaaaages ago! The last time I wrote a poem was probably in 2010. I feel so.. different now, it seems unfair, I used to write in my maths books, on a receipt from the shops, on the backs of bus tickets, and train tickets, and aeroplane tickets, I used to write daily in my diary, I used to pour out words with ease, nowadays I don't write much, at all! It is a bit of a shock, maybe this blog will help renew my love of writing. Hopefully!

UNWRITTEN
the woman who bears
rings on her fingers
and bells on her toes

remains the apple
for many a male heart
with her e-ternal rose

the soul of the earth
shall be touched by her feet
every jack and jill be meet

the spot on her nose
shall help i suppose
to keep her roots intact

the clothes on her frame
shall always remain
comfortable, but nice

the things she shall own
will be always known
for being so or-din-ary

no one will steal
her clear sight away
not even the thorns in her mind

for she shall do
good shall become
and fun for everyone

ACHES and PAINS
I wanna hold your fingers
between my fingers
and tell you honestly
that I  can't live without you

your my water
my air
my fire
and my earth

you feed my heart
the brightest of light
and its hard to go without

my heart aches
from the pit of my stomach
to be in your arms
loved and loving

i miss you.

STUFF
I miss you so bad.
Sometimes i get sad.

All i ask is respect
from people i trust
consider the effect
only say what you must

no one escapes hypocrisy in life
but don't be an ape
it only causes more strife

just please appreciate all that you've got
i don't just hang around for some joe blo
i try have a good shot
but my patience can go

just don't take me for granted
i'm not just a doll
i get disenchanted
but i let it roll

so do me a favour
take the whole package
its not so much labour
it may ease the voyage

GRATITUDE
To have one
who loves your you

priceless

To wear your love
like a shield of iron

empowering

To share everyhing
without effort
without boundary

cleansing

You are my soul
You are my life
You are my love


TRUTH

A tiger strikes
and roars
and snaps

a butterfly flitters
and lands
upon a flower

A jaguar sprints
and tears prey
to pieces

A gecko steps
with ligh feet
hiding from sigh

A wild cat purrs
with gentle pleasure
in the golden sun

A wildcat pounces
on a meal
and snaps it up

Dimensions of self
hidden
or shared
by choice

True wilderness
True melody

Listen
let it through
for the health
of your true heart


WISHES
You won’t let me in
I won’t let you in
I have changed
You have changed

But really ever child
lives on their own planet
And every person
has their own ocean of individuality
which needs an unexploitative explorer
And we thought we knew each other

I see the path of the moon on the sea
And I wish I could walk upon it
Holding your hand
I see the sunshine all around
And I wish I could bathe you in it

I hear a heart that sings
In my mind
But never aloud
Never spoken
And I wish that time was not so connected
To reality
And that bravery
would overcome uncertainty

SANCTUARY
there's a place
i feel safe
a feeling
that let's me heal
a mind that is quiet
and provides me with calm

but it seems that place
that feeling
that mind
was only once
and no more

that person
that simplicity
seems gone
and irretrievable

[insert title]
Rain washes the windows
tears wash my face

lightning tears the sky in two
loss tears my self in two

appreciation, strength
like a puffer fish puffed up
at the end of the day
found dead
washed ashore

hope is impossible
strength lies next to taunts
I have lost my core
and I can't stand living
with the fake replacement
inside me

HÖRNE
Djupt, så djupt
var finns det jag tappat?
Inom mitt eget smuligt hjärta?
Inom ett vackert foto tagit just nu?
eller inom en annans hjärta?
Inom en annans själ?
omöjligt att leva förutom
omöjligt att hitta tillbaka
så jag fortsätter leta
kanske jag hittar något
i ett litet hörne jag glömt
inom mig själv

DIRECTIONS
I've lost myself
I've lost my way

Empty
blank
boring
dull
listless
grey
endlessly grey

It seems
there's only one solution
one step to returning to my
self

But that step
even the notion of that step
impossible
absolutely

I realize
I have resigned
to letting go
of the self lost
that girl can never be regained

Forever
only a half
only a shadow
of the cirlce
of light
we shared

We both know
how hard it is
to live outside
the circle

outside

I am not
anyone's love
I have betrayed
the utmost
in myself

I have transgressed
the deepest of boundaries
I seem to have walked into oblivion
and am blinded
as to my return

I have lost my self
and the only person
who knows that self
and could help me find it

I will most probably
never meet

[insert title]
Losing what you never wanted to lose
Gaining what you never wanted to gain

Time is lost like dry sand
through your hand

Life moves on at a terrifying pace
so much goes to waste

But you learn not to care
You learn to die a little

Cause that's the only way
To get through

INSTINCT
fly like a sparrow
swim like a seal

run like a jaguar
fight like a lion

leap like a doe
sing like a nightingale

use your freedom
while you've got it
cause not everybody
is free

AUTUMN
a little girl
under a tree
with no eyes
no water
no sadness
the leaves fall
all around her
a rainfall of leaves
it's autumn
well and truly

H20
a river
the deepest river
it flows
and flows
moves along
the water never stops
the deepest river
swelling and flooding
the sun upon it
sparkles
it's beautiful
but the water
nonetheless
is still water
still deep
still flowing.

SKIN
the skin on the drum
is tightly strung
the hands on the skin
unrightly flung

the message that follows
unexplicably complex

clouds form
and dissapate

caterpillars are born
butterflies result

but how?
how?
how?

SIMPLICITY
birds make a nest
and lay some eggs
the eggs crack
and out come some babies
the baby bird learns to fly
and hunt
and eat
the baby bird learns to squawk
and talk and sing
such a beautifully simple
and free life
why can't human's fly?
maybe cos then we'd mess the sky up
just like we did the rest of the world

SHORT BUT SWEET
A dragonfly lives a short life
but a sweet one
they fly many places
explore many things
they know better than we
the importance of action
and at times lack of thought
the need for spectacular failure
when looking for success
sometimes not getting what you want
can be the most wonderful stroke of luck
so look for luck and you may find some
look for bad luck and you most certainly will find some :)

EXCUSES FOR DISORGANISATION
We have shelves for books
wardrobes for clothes
shoeracks for shoes
and hatstands for hats

We have coathangers for dresses
photoframes for photographs
computer desks for computers
and desklights for desks

We have pillowcases for pillows
jewellery stands for jewellery
hallway rugs for hallways
and diamond rings for ring fingers

But what about a shelf for memories?
a box for love?
a balloon for happiness?
and a candle for freedom?

What about a teacup of friendship?
a jigsaw puzzle of respect?
a pond of peace?
and a locket of silence?

What about a cubby of families?
a wall of idols?
a lily of innocence?
and a mudslide of maturity?

losing your things
is life's way of telling you
your things aren't important
it's the nothings that are

WATCHING THE CLOCK TICK
Buy a watch
you lose it
buy a clock
it breaks
receive a chainwatch
it stops

Why such a need for time?
why the need for precise minute hands?
why not watch the sun in the sky?
why not forget the time and have fun?
why not?

Because it's scary for most
to let go of surrounding needs, and routines
chores and errands, all the clutter of life
which only serves, to hold you down
forget the time, every once in awhile
it's healthy :)

CIRULAR MOTION
The circle of life is love
The circle of love is light
The circle of light is pure
The circle of purity is bottomless
circles never end :)

PLAIT ... or TAPESTRY.. ?
Life weaves in and out of boring
People weave in and out of love
Friends weave in and out of touch
Families weave in and out of stable
Time weaves in and out of life
The plait of everything is wide
but after all isn't everything nothing?
it is only a plait
after all :)

CREATION
Buying a present
and giving it away

hugging friend
and sharing a wide smile

planting a seed
and helping it grow

taking a photo
and sharing it with others

sharing a life
and making another

creation is beauty

FIBRES
soaked through from the rain
singing and dancing without strain

feet barely touch the ground
running and flying, for a second in one bound

a walnut smile all the way through your eyes
given to a stranger to share your happy fires

feeling heavy and weighed down, by life, by time

and watching the sun light up an ordinary thing
or the smell of rain and trees and flowers

dancing and spinning and singing and laughing
and letting go of every single thing that ties you down

taking a chance just cause your curious
and its fun not knowing exactly what might happen

that is real appreciation
for what life has to give

SEGMENT
my heart is the river
my heart is these hills
you will never change
i will never change
and i never will

i don't get what i wrote??? weird. but i'll try finish it anyway.....

my memories stay
my memories replay
the past doesn't change
everything else does
but nothing ever ends



LONG
it feels wrong.
do you know why?
i hear a beautiful song
and it makes me cry

you are too far from me
to meet you is all i need
can't you see
i don't want to read

i just want to touch
is that too much
to ask of you?
even though it's new?
I miss U.

SPACE
Each and Every human
holds a place inside
a place for themselves only

when this space is shared
it grows
when it is tested
it holds
but life wears it down
just like water wears down a stone

my space?
sometimes feels like

the ozone layer

whatever is beneath the bark of a tree

the space around the leaves in the crown of a tree when the wind blows through

the force of a waterfall

the sunshine making Anything look beautiful

the moonshine making Anything look magical

whatever children think sleep under their bed at night

a stone:old,steady,difficult to destroy

how a joey feels inside its mothers pouch

an eagle soaring

a whale coming up for air

a jaguar sitting in an enclosed area at werribee zoo

a baby girl's giggle

a young boys satisfaction eating chocolate cake

a woman singing in the traditional nth-sweden style...jojkning :)

SLOW
Don't u know???
All i want
is for you to like
me
to tell
me

just show me
who you are
don't Be anyone
cause you
already Are
someone

you
are
You

it is so goddamn
easy
but you make it
so hard
just tell me
ask me
i won't be scary
i promise
:)

WITHOUT DEATH LIFE WOULD NOT BE PRECIOUS
We could have been it all
but you see yourself as too tall

you were willing to take a chance
and join in my alluring dance

but what you've done
cannot ever be changed
unless you start to run
and become deranged.

I have turned from you
and have another in mind
I don't waste time being blue
life's too short for being so blind

Time shall never be wasted
unless it is necessary
life should always be Fully tasted
with nothing to bury.

the wind blows
through all your worries
the moon's face watches
and feels your pain
the ocean lulls
away your loneliness
the sun kisses your face
and lights up your heart
trees hold you carefully
their leaves fluttering through you
like a waterfall
these things exist eternally
and can always be depended upon.

found this, wrote it aaaaaages ago lol. feels like i didn't write it. when i read it it feels like someone else wrote it. Very strange! neways lol:

EMPTY.
I am:
full of life
laughter
love
hugs and kisses

full of:
talk
fire
belief
in nothing much

full of:
so much
but oh so empty
all but touch
it just can't be
when you're to leave

Don't be sad if i turn to another
it will happen pretty quickly

that's the way i work
it's the way i run
full up to the brim
why waste so much fun?

A POEM WRITTEN SUCH A LONG TIME AGO THAT IT FEELS LIKE I DIDN'T WRITE IT! XD
I want to know anothers mind
as I know my own
I want to learn anothers body
as I know my own
I want to laugh and love and touch
I want to give and care
and share.
I want to grow
through someone else's eyes
and see another grow through mine own.
I want too much.

'AAA'
to keep us apart
is to part the ocean
to bring us together
lights a dangerous fire

you watch me.
I watch you.
we cannot stop staring.
It's love you see :)

THINGS I NEED
A ball thrown up
falls down
A key pressed
will make a sound
A word said
might let things be found
Anger passed on
Vented on another
Tears flow free
When it comes from your mother

Emotions shift like the sea
never the same
at least not with me
and not ever a game

I want to run away
from school
from my parents
but I love them all
far too much
without them
I would not be me
I would not survive
So why do I want go?
I want freedom
from everything
from all needs

I want wide open spaces
so I can move like lightning
I want the wind
to blow away my worries
I want the sea
to lull away my fears
I want the moon
to shine light on my way
I want the sun
to shine on my face
and make me feel
sunkissed.

TWO
We touch
drawback
like two doves
in love
glide freely
yet together
not steely
not at tether

If we touched
fire would burn
oh so much
we have to learn.

My soul lies in yours
we breathe in unison
without you I might die
and all I'd do is cry.

We are a flame
both blue and red
invisible
visible
We burn
endlessly.

KNOWING
Such anger
such passion
such a heart
such questions
to get to know you
if that happens
would be Verry interesting.

MIRROR
Pure
simple
hidden
protected
limited
access
you are
a mirror
of me
sometimes.

WANTS
My heart beats
my mouth opens
as if to yell and scream
but there's no sound
in my eyes tears pool up
and spill silently

I need to share warmth
and intimacy
I need to tell you
so much
I need to feel you
I need to know you
I need to kiss you
I only want
you.

UNIVERSAL
My tears come from
a bottomless well
you evoke the utmost
in me

I need to be one with
you
I need to breathe you
enfold you
I cannot ever forget
you

This feels eternal
universal
as if it might affect
humankind

It goes right through me
right into my
inner self.

How can I hide it?
But I must force it
down
So you don't get scared
by my intensity.

ICE
I have a place
deep inside
it is hard
pure strength
chiseled
practiced
I am using it
now.
To think, learn, live
and survive.
I know I will be fine.

STOP, DROP and THINK
My gut
flutters
flips
swells
and then
is numb.
nothing left
push
it
down.
stop the thoughts.
stay to facts.
reality.

RUNNING ON
I broke the link
and set myself free
I feel better
less worry
less stress
getting back my
physical.
mental.
health.
I
feel
reborn.
restrengthened.
revitalized.

HOPE
You are like a tree
without leaves
like a waterfall
without sound
like a soul
without company

I give you company
but you tell me 'no thanks'
it's not fun
to keep on like this

I'm all about hope
you're all about hopelessness
You've got to open up
Before I will open up
more than I already have

KAPISH?
Before you brand me
you must understand me
which is no easy feat

understand all of me
and my heart is
wide open

to let you in
where no one else can come
except for my family.

STOP TRYING
You push
and shove
try force me
into your glove

believe me
that will never work
I won't change see
you're just one mighty irk

WAIT
I've been shredded
and torn
broken
and shattered

in pieces
completely whole

laughing outright
shedding tears

oh so sure
oh so uncertain

i've fought hard
and given up

i'm exhausted
but energetic

i need to know now
but can wait till you know too.

SURVIVAL
I can't survive
without breathing
and that's the only thing
you don't give me
air.

Let me think
and move
freely.
Let me speak
and laugh
freely

and you will find yourself
falling
so deep
you won't
believe it.

CLEAN CUT
It really is simple
to stop
drop
and leave

might sound like a lie
but i've perfected the art
of getting over things

in actual fact
I'm already
entirely
over
you.

i'm doing another top ten

1.THE CONCRETE ISN'T SET
Trembling
like a leaf

that could drift away
any time

that could fall from the tree
any day

but it's not autumn
yet

2.
LIFE
Human life

is beautiful
and tragic

time the only rule
love the only magic

3.
AMAZING
Climb Mt Everest
Climb a Coast Redwood tree
Abseil the steepest rockface
Sprint faster than the speed of light
Sail the choppiest ocean straits
Walk the darkest part of the amazon
Survive the Sahara desert
Stare into the eyes of the sun

All are achievements
of which to be proud
but love is more
love.
is.
life.

4.
UNSPOKEN
I was in waist deep
your toes were just getting wet
We both can't sleep
Though we still haven't met

I pulled in the reigns
You went all mute
Its like waiting for trains
Except there's no time to suit

Far apart
somehow friends
When will this start?
Hope it never ends.

5.
JUST DO
Leap and the net will appear.
Look take no photo and the memory will stay.
Say don't think and crazy stuff will happen.
Sprint, dance, laugh, jump.
Cross the line
and you might just get lucky.

6.STRENGTH TO THE CORE
hold your back upright
keep your eyes straight ahead
even if you lose the fight
there's always more to thread

sing your own song
do your own thing
someone will come along
and make your heart sing

no matter how hard it gets
or how far down you go
live without regrets
and just let the wind blow

7.THE SURGE
my blood pumps
it runs through me
i feel life
surging through me
such a power
life is

power equals
responsibility
do not use it amiss

8.
UNTITLED...

time moves on
people will be gone

open hearts left behind
am i supposed to not mind?

cos it won't work
this can't be controlled
it's not like clockwork
when things are left untold.

9.
PASSING BY
past.
present.
future.
end.

childhood.
adolescence.
adulthood.
reality.

freedom.
learning.
responsibility.
teaching.

crawling.
skipping.
running.
sitting.

cherished.
rebelling.
establishing.
accepting.

new.
fresh.
stretched.
overused.

facts.
of.
life.

10.
WOULD YOU?

if i was a t-shirt
would you wear me?

if i was a piece of cake
would you eat me?

if i was a nice cool drink
would you drink me?

if i was a shopping bag
would you use me?

or
would you just
let me grow old
and gather dust

if i was a photograph
would u look at me?

if i was a telephone
would you ring me?

if i was a microphone
would you sing for me?

if i was a piano
would you play me?

or
would you just
let me grow old
and gather dust

if i was a punching bag
would you punch me?

if i was a piece of ice
would you crush me?

if i was a curious cat
would you kill me?

if i was a snake
would you enchant me?

or
would you just
let me grow old
and gather dust

if i was a memory
would you cherish me?

if i was a puppy
would you keep me safe?

if i was a radio
would you listen?

if i was a seedling
would you give me love?

or
would you just
let me grow old
and gather dust

CRAZINESS
If we could know the future?
what would it be like?
If we could read each others minds?
what would it be like?
This world would disappear
No one would
speak
there'd be no need
No one would
do
anything
Because they'd already know
the consequence
and would fear it.
The opposite of chaos
would reign.
Silence.
Stillness.
Craziness!
It would not work.
And I'm glad of that.

REAL
Your ice cold
like a sculpture.
Silent.
Still.
Watching things happen.
Detached.
Emotionless.
It doesn't make sense.
This is a lie.
Or maybe there is reason
for why I cry.

Empty.
Blank.
Cruel.
I don't know why.

I can guess
but u leave me
unsure.

U leave me at the mercy
of time.
And time never lets up.
I could kill u,
that, or instill in u
understanding.

But maybe it's all
forgotten.
Erased, gone, nothing.

So why write at all?
Why care?
For the sake of pain?

Cause no one can change
Time.
Reality.
Those buckets get filled.
Nothing can be done.
And I hate
that.

LIKE
Your a rainbow
on the horizon
and I'm still searching
for the pot of gold.

Your an ice sculpture
beside the feast
I don't know how to sculpt
and you won't let me eat.

Your a piano
not up for sale.
I can play
but not the right song.

I've got my heart
stuck in the cookie jar.
You've got yourself
back home.

So who's upset?
Not me
and obviously
not you.

Echoes
and silence
tell nothing
but lies.

Patience
is much harder
than difficult.

Grace
well what for?

You.
Tell.
Me.

FRIENDS
Its over
that was the last time
I won't say it again

I'm moving on
you'll be surprized
how fast I can

I've met nice people
since you left
who knows?

I cannot go on
without love
now that I know

I seem to breathe it
now without it
I'm choking

Not really
but you get the drift
so that's it.

just friends
from now on.

YOU
I dream of travel
but will my life then unravel?
will it be ok?
I just want you to say
tell me, just once
and don't be a dunce

Will you wait?
will you walk straight?
I don't want to lose you
because then I'll truly be blue

Please make this last
don't let this sit in the past
please, just please
tell me

FRUSTRATED
Tangled and confused
it makes me feel bemused

what do I do now?
which way do I turn?
I'm not really sure how
and if I will get a burn

let sleeping dogs lie
make nobody cry

careful, you've got to be
when you can so plainly see
the centre of things
in all places but one

strong walls keep you from me
there's no time to try and climb
wish you would try and see
at least let me try and sublime

but no is the final answer
i know you're just trying to protect
its not helping me out at all
no rather it feels like neglect
although in truth I realize
that I cannot idealize

must turn another way
but where to go from here?
don't really know what to say
at a loss, nothing seems clear

know what I want
yet know it can't be
its all one big taunt
with you way out past the sea

FÖR DIG ''aaaaa''

Jag äskar dig
som havets djup.
Jag vill ge dig
allt jag har.
Men du åker hem
och det kan ej ändras.
Jag önskar så mycket
att vi kunde bli
precis allting
som någon kan bli.
Jag älskar dig.

translation: much is lost
in this translation I feel, but oh well:

FOR YOU ''aaaaa''

My love for you
reaches the ocean's depths
I want to give you
everything I have to give.
But you're flying home
which can't ever be changed.
I wish so much
that you could stay.
I wish so much
that we could become
absolutely everything
that someone can become.
I love you.

ABSOLUTELY TAKEN
I feel like I'm so taken
can't tell if I'm mistaken
I'll be abandoned in a week
before it gets to reach its peak

how morose I will become
I will always want more than just some
it is all so very awful
and feels entirely unlawful*

I'll hope and hope
in the process, become the pope
I'll wait and wait
and resist all other bait

I'll see you again
after I visit the Big Ben
we can whip around Europe
and in Holland we'll pick a tulip

my bloodline is long
my list of countries too
hope that nothing goes wrong
before coming back to meet you

*unlawful=reference to 'Honour' the play by joanna-murray smith :)

A SELF-CENTRED WELL

Are you swimming upstream?
In ocean's of blue?
Do you feel like you're sinking?

No one can buy
true love in their life
we all need someone
on standby

And there's just no way
that I can fight these emotions
your energy running through me
nobody can renew me like you

And I've tried cutting the ropes,
I let you go
but you're still the only one that feels like home

Just lookin' for shelter
from cold and the pain

echoes and silence
patience and grace
all of these moments
I'll never replace

Sometimes I just wanna hide
'cause its you I miss
it's so hard to say goodbye
when it comes to this

I swam across
I jumped across for you
I drew a line
I drew a line for you
Cos you were all yellow

Don't you ever wish for
just one thing that you might never see
Don't you ever wish for
just one thing that you might never know
You might never know

You gotta stand up straight
Carry your own weight
These tears are going nowhere baby

Cash money,
ain't got no use for you
unless you can buy me true love
And it's funny,
how many times they've proved
that the only true fortune you can save
is the truth

Artists....I prefer calling them poets:
Delta Goodrem
Missy Higgins
Foo Fighters
Christina Aguilera
Coldplay
Sarah Blasko
U2
The Beautiful Girls

'Aaaaa'
for you.

I'm missing you
and you haven't even left
I think of all you do
and I can't bear to become bereft

your funny stories
your questioning comments
all the beautiful glories
letting me put in my two cents

the music
the soccer
all the wondrous talk
I can't bear to let you go
to fly away
from me

BLINK and MISS
leaves fall
they touch the earth
people live
from death to birth

memories run
far far away
into the sun
to keep time at bay

say I love you
every day
to all who you do
so they know, anyway

speak your mind
surprize yourself
relax and unwind
keep love off the shelf

*inspired by the notebook*



PRECIOUS weird thing
a small life
within
how precious
a thing

still strange
it must be
to carry
a mini-me

imagine
a thing
inside
your belly

growing
and growing
even whilst
you watch telly

painful
and scary
it probably
is

unless treated
like a fairy
then it'd be
a bit of a buzz

TOP 10:
JAIL FLAT

Zoned out
dead flat
a little pout
is where i'm at

stuff this
i wanna fast forward
exams i'll miss
and the circus is onward

i make the effort
n feel like miss muffet
yet if i neglect
i'll despise the effect

a jailbird i am
of obligations and musts
sometimes i go bam
and nobody i trust

i need to shape up
but where does that come from?
i'm a bit like a pup
overly sleepy
an enthusiasm bomb

REWARD

patience
in life
is difficult
to learn
easy to fulfill
within everyday
but something to earn
in the long term
you wait
and wait
and learn to tolerate
but where's the reward
with whom i'd go abroad

PROFOUND...?

words of power
touch through time
people of power
brighten through life
the way to find them
is to look where you stumble
and if you're in luck
you may just learn
to live all of life
and appreciate the small
to let go of worry
and open your mind
to watch with wonder
while the world turns over
because it only happens once
the rest is unknown

MOVEMENT

sliding through your fingers
falling from your stomach
time tricks you when it lingers
and bores you when it gets stuck

watching without moving
walking without thinking

time moves over us all
and we all forget to care

a raindrop in a waterfall
its enclosed but still connected
our lives sometimes they feel so small
we're so caught up and still so blind

watching without moving
walking without thinking

time moves over us all
and we all forget to care

we waste so much without a thought
what will be, when we grow old
its time we do all that we ought
cos rebels always crop up bold

watching without moving
walking without thinking

time moves over us all
and we all forget to care

THOUGHT PATTERN

touch
and go
speak
and laugh
draw
and change
look
and avert
decide
and pause
do
and forget
promise
and fulfill

SURE

Ballooning above the city
skating above the stream
learning while walking
pausing while swimming
white teeth
a windy day
springy toes
a glint of mischief
why not?
go ahead
go flying above ice
go swimming below a balloon
do it now while you can
because if a year is quick today
tomorrow it will be quicker
so blind the world with your white teeth
irritate people with your springy toes
do it enough and you may just find
someone who loves it
never wanting you to stop.

ABANDONED UNFINISHED AND UNTITLED POEM

my heart is the river
my heart is these hills
you will never change
i will never change
and i never will

THOSE PEOPLE, DESSA MÄNNISKOR

i'm swirling
i'm twirling
i'm watching the clouds float
i'm humming
and singing
and hearing the off notes
the sun
and the sky
can be seen by anyone
its amazing
connections
can so simply come undone
i miss them
i miss that
yet know that i can't have
i have lots
yet want lots
its so incredibly stupid
i'm looking
not finding
it's driving
me crazy
yet what do
i want to find
not even that
do i know
i just have to wait
and listen
and watch
and maybe
a something
will come
or will happen
maybe life will happen
or maybe i just can't
accept that life's boring
sometimes
att livet är tråkigt
ibland

FREEDOM

sweet and fresh
bursting alive
alive and free
its so fun to be just me

no restrictions
everything's allowed
i'm in charge
and i make the rules
i can be oh so large
or an absolute complete fool
i can laugh at myself
and not have to put anything on a shelf
i can eat toasties for dinner
and leftovers for lunch
and oh what a bunch
of people i can be

bursting with freedom
and floating in laziness
making noise so uncarelessly
not caring who hears
dancing with enthusiasm
along to whatever i want

it's fun
I really must say
but i'll get sick of it
and have a bad day
all things good have an end
and eventually I'll need a friend
But I can wait
I'll survive until then
on all things good like freedom

HUMANITY

a sunshower
a look of horror on someones face unbelieving of the violence, death and destruction
yet that someone's capacity to create that which is so horrifying

a camera run out of batteries
before a picture perfect scene

a smile, a laugh, a hug being left till it's too late
and the hesitation that caused it

a computer keyboard
next to a calligraphy brush

the meanings in a single word
left to interpretation

translations destructive influence
giving new life to the words through others

the translation of interpretation between people and animals

the enormous power of eyes
a look, of hatred, fury, destruction simultaneously being a look of amour, confusion, care
and of somebody scared and upset

what is it all in the end?
humanity.


WISHING, WANTING

i lost a friend
he had no end
to friendly smiles
and flirty whiles
his hands were strong
across my back
and how i long
for their attack
on my sore back
only one hug
it was so snug
that voice those eyes
that wide wide smile
all they do is tantalize
of something past
of something lost
oh how i wish
oh how i wish

HOLEY

it's holey i swear
there's two big gaping tears
one from moral objection
the other random rejection
is my heart so despisable?
cos it's definitely not recycable
the holes are growing
the pain isn't slowing
why does no one tell you
what to do in times like these?

TIMES PASSED, LESSONS LEARNT (number 10)

a year of change
like never before
a change of tongues
a change of shore

a change of heart
and smile and touch
a year of change
a year of much

a shedding of hair
a shedding of friends
an old school fair
forgotten to no end

a change of circle
a change of zone
many things lost
and many things thrown

a birthday seen a birthday past
with presents of
the non-physical type

a cat discovered
then hidden away
a horse that shivered
and neighed in dismay

a foal caught, unaware
in all her flare
a foal left behind
with much despair

a new language learnt
or so to speak
a sunburn well earnt
and a dance with a geek

balls attended
ballet to see
feelings upended
a girl set free

letters sent
and letters received
words well meant
though causing 2 aggrieved

as has been written
a year of change
as has been written
a year of much
will it end
oh surely it will
though will it do
what all want it to do?

a man voted out
and two voted in
one is about
the change on the wind
the other is all
apology eyes
yet how do we know
that he really is wise?

we shall have to wait
we will come to see
them create fate
for you and me



LYRICS

I live by the river
in a yellow submarine

it's a beautiful day
when she moves in mysterious ways

suddenly I see
truth truth everywhere

little darling its been a long cold lonely winter
in my own time i'll find romance

money money money its a rich mans world
slow down everybody you're moving too fast

scar tissue that i wish you saw
we are beautiful in every single way

where'd you go? i miss you so, (Z)
you broke my heart for the first time. (Z)

i'm not acting like myself
i've been cheated by you since i don't know when

i know exactly why
say goodbye to all of these ghosts in your head

he tried to blunt me so i'd fit
cos i'm a little bit tired of feeling like i'd be the bad fruit nobody buys

as a new door opens you close the ones behind
then you'll find the strength that will guide your way

Artists:
The Clash,
beatles,
U2,
KT tunstall,
sarah blasko,
delta goodrem,
abba,
jack johnson,
red hot chilli peppers,
maia hirasawa,
missy higgins,
christina aguilera

CYCLES

If someone has a problem
they either pass it on
to another friend
or they cause another problem

if you meet a problem
don't cry,hit or shy
absorb it
then let it go

but best of all
don't pass it on

if someone meets kindness
they can pass it on
without a thought
or rear back in shock
in total disarray

people are different
but essentially the same

when you meet kindness
pass it on
and mean it
what will happen is unknown
but rest assured
it won't be bad

TRUTH

intentions
point blank words
actions
meanings
do not twist them
beware
the trouble caused
is not a fun fair
you cannot always be right
sometimes you're in the wrong
acceptance shows maturity
truth shows honesty
but most importantly
integrity

COMPLICATIONS

the struggles we meet
should never be ignored
instead they're challenge
we can beat without revenge
there's always the side alley
if you wish to escape
the crash on the highway
although don't keep a tally
cause that will only cause dismay

STORIES TO TELL

I'm a book
full of stories
and characters
many with a good heart
the only person missing
is the sweetest heart
when will i know?
how will i know?
and why can't i know now?

random untitled thing....
I often do, what I hate in others
I'm a horrible hypocrite

CONCLUDING

where's the end?
we seem to just pretend
i wanna berate
and set things straight
i wanna live my life
without all your strife
but i need to find the courage
to get across this message
i don't need ''BIG BROTHER''
i want that to go No further
i am by No means a threat
to my own safety
i have Never been an oven
and wouldn't Ever discard a bun
whispers created
by strangers, go wild
i turned 16
had a ball of a year
turning 12 was
far harder i fear
didn't read myspace
tho understood the disgrace
all people are good
they just need to be understood
so worry or concern
need not exist
I Am Fine
and will Always Be So

INOM MIG
jag glömmer aldrig
ditt leende
dina skämt
dina magiska händer
din varma kram
den sista träslöjdsklassen
ditt flyrtiga sätt
dina snälla
intelligenta ögon
ditt intresse för musik
och sport.
du finns alltid inom mig
men bara som ett minne
förlåt.

NEVER AGAIN

i miss it
so much
it hurts
sO bad
why can't I learn to fly?
then half-way round the world,
wouldn't seem so far
so impossible
so unreachable

vem vet?
inte du
vem vet?
inte jag
vi vet ingenting nu
vi vet inget idag
Lisa Ekdahl

who knows?
not you
who knows?
not I
we know nothing right now
we know nothing today
translation-me
....maybe some day
I will fly

a poem inspired by the book "The adoration of Jenna Fox"

ME.

What is me?

is me my name?
my date of birth?

is me my hair colour?
my eye colour?

is me my brain?
and all my memories?

is me my blood type?
my specific genes?

is me my mum and dad?
my brother and sister?

is me my friends
cousins and pets?

is me my languages?
my reading writing and speaking?

is me my sports?
my favourite past times?

is me my favourite things?
colours, artists, clothes?

is me why I laugh?
when no one else does?

is me the things I've done?
or haven't done?

how do I know what me is?
how do I know anything at all?

if I don't know exactly what me is
then how can others think they know?

maybe me is all my questions?
that never stop.

maybe me is my strength?
in my body and my mind

me will never seem to change for me
but will constantly change for others

me is a strange thing
with no real answers
only more questions

me.

''houston, we have a PROBLEM!''

somebody please fix it
make it go away
i can't stand this
all the hate and circling revenge

ghandi says
an eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind
sometimes i feel as if everyone
is already blind
but maybe it's me?
maybe i am the one who's blind

i dunno
i'm just over it now
make it go away
can't it just fix itself?

i'm sick of the misinterpretation
of the hate
spreading of blindness
can't we leave this behind
and let ourselves grow a little

i keep writing
yet someone keeps reading
the cycle keeps going
but only because
of bOth sides actions

just please
make it go away
make things go back to neutral
because i can't stand all this
hate

NATURE

water flows
it runs
it bubbles
it crashes
it falls
on you

wind blows
it swirls
it haunts
it pushes
it lifts
you up

grass swishes
it squishes
it shines
it freezes
it ripples
under you

trees creak
they shade
they rustle
they challenge
they support
all of you

the moon glows
paints a path
lights up your skin
controls the tide
has a face
for you

the sun shines
through windows
heats you up
burns your skin
makes shadows
around you

everything runs
nothing ever stops
things change
but it feels so much the same

SICK

I am sick
of you and all your shit
I am sick
of people who cannot get over themselves
I am sick
of all the stupid power struggles that go on around here
I am sick
of adults and all their petty grudges
I am sick
of time and all its sneakiness
I am sick
of life and wanna join the circus
no really
I am sick
which ruins many a fine day
with all its sore throats
and runny noses
and sore stomachs
and niggling earaches
I am sick
and couldn't give a shit
about you.

THE WEIRD POEM

hello
hello to
hello to you
hello to you there
hello to you there, I
hello to you there, I didn't
hello to you there, I didn't see
hello to you there, I didn't see you
hello to you there, I didn't see you behind
hello to you there,I didn't see you behind that
hello to you there, I didn't see you behind that mask
hello to you there, I didn't see you behind that mask of
hello to you there, I didn't see you behind that mask of reserve
I know you
but I do not
you know me
but you do not
so why do I care?
because you always stare
it freaks me out
and makes me wanna shout
so
so please
so please don't
so please don't say
so please don't say hello
so please don't say hello or
so please don't say hello or stare

SLEEP

I can't sleep
it drives me insane
my thoughts go down deep
but there's no real gain

It's time for a midnight snack
and a little time under the stars
singing songs on my back
and dreaming of going to mars

then back inside to snuggle up
and think of things again and again
have thoughts that really won't shut up
and ideas that drive me round the bend

I only ask for sleep
Is it really so hard?
well clearly this week
my nights are marred

with sleeplessness and restlessness
I've shown myself
that I can make a mess
of any routine that sat on the shelf

well hello there
I'm finally asleep
and dreaming of a bear
who cannot sweep

the dreaming ends
It's time for school
I cannot pretend
and I must not drool

Its not fair at all
that I cannot sleep
I wish I could fall
more easily into the deep

Sitting awake
my eyes begin to itch
I get a headache
and maths I wanna ditch

the bus ride home
is a dangerous one
I might just fall asleep
despite the sun

I'll probably miss my stop
and have to walk
all the way back home
where I can only balk
at the willpower I have

enduring this vicious cycle


PEOPLE, LIFE AND US

the healing power
of laughter
of a hug
of a meaningful smile

of a chat
of music
of wind and water

of air and salt
of little children

of a movie
of time
of a worthwhile rhyme

of,of,of
or maybe because
this is the reason
for breathing
for moving
for sleeping and eating
for going on
through the
no longer monotonous
times

GOOD MORNING, BAD NIGHT

a good day started
a good day came
a feeling grew
and then came to be true
a pair of shorts
and a pair of retorts
that feeling had come
and that feeling had passed

I rode to training
and it wasn't raining
yet something was wrong
and it didn't take long
for me to figure out
what that was all about
the grass was green
and no one could be seen

but that was ok
because the feeling had passed
i'd found my dad
and now i truly could no longer be assed

my energy was well spent
and i was not in the mood
to see anything other
than some glorious food

the dishes were ready
to be packed away
but the tv was on
and i just wanted to stay

that wasn't fair
i was to do my share
but what about me
i just wanted to be
no i was in deep
when all i wanted was sleep

i left my fair share
though i was meant to stay
then i fell asleep
and todays a new day

WOULD YOU?

if i was a t-shirt
would you wear me?

if i was a piece of cake
would you eat me?

if i was a nice cool drink
would you drink me?

if i was a shopping bag
would you use me?

or
would you just
let me grow old
and gather dust

if i was a photograph
would u look at me?

if i was a telephone
would you ring me?

if i was a microphone
would you sing for me?

if i was a piano
would you play me?

or
would you just
let me grow old
and gather dust

if i was a punching bag
would you punch me?

if i was a piece of ice
would you crush me?

if i was a curious cat
would you kill me?

if i was a snake
would you enchant me?

or
would you just
let me grow old
and gather dust

if i was a memory
would you cherish me?

if i was a puppy
would you keep me safe?

if i was a radio
would you listen?

if i was a seedling
would you give me love?

or
would you just
let me grow old
and gather dust

S-O-R-R-Y
a word
hard to say
for some
easy to say
for others

can mean
such a lot
and so so little

forgiveness is a gift
that some
can never recieve
for the magic
in this word
does have its boundaries

actions have been done
things have been said
eyes have spoken
and even such
a powerful word
cannot make
these things undone

this doesn't mean
that this word
has no power
of course it still does
you just need to learn
about how to use it

actions help too
a smile or a favour
sometimes a hug
will do the trick nicely
but try not to hide it
or to leave it hanging
for this will only cause
more problems further on
talk about it all
and clear that space
that awful section of vibes
that destroy all the trust
and background comftability
talk about it soon
to clear your head
because then it will end
whatever it is you dread

FOR ME, FOR YOU, FOR ANYONE
an apology
that should be for me
hangs around
in the air
and never reaches me

more than one
more than two
what is it with this word?

people
easily see their own faults
but cannot
show them to me

just say it
and be done
forget and go have fun
time won't stop
the world won't end
and just maybe
you might set a trend